Is Fear Really That Bad? Part 2

What drives fear often stems from not knowing or understanding what you are up against. People are often afraid to pursue their dreams because the process itself can be overwhelming. Not knowing how to proceed or the many steps it will take — in addition to our own insecurities (as stated in part 1), can push us over the edge.

Here in Part 2 I’m going to re-define fear. But, I’m going to give it to you as four tools that you can use to your advantage. Fear isn’t something you have to shy away from anymore. It can now be something you can take head on. How can we flip fear on its head? With Focus. Expectations. Accountability. Respect. Let’s roll!!

FOCUS

If you read part 1 I talk about a car accident. I address that if it was a serious one — or one that shakes us up a bit, getting back behind the wheel is the last thing on our mind. However, when you finally get back behind the wheel, do you notice that your behavior changes? You tend to become more focused. You see things differently. You will even notice things that you’ve never bothered to pay attention to before. Look, getting knocked backwards isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s how you choose to regroup once you get back up that matters the most. Mike Tyson once said ” Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” What is ironic about that quote is that he was the one doing the punching. Honing in on the gifts and talents that you possess is the first step in helping you understand what you could be up against. Having blinders on during your pursuit to keep the negativity out is crucial. Deeply focusing on the task ahead and all that it encompasses can yield results…but it will take having…

EXPECTATIONS

You know what makes Batman such a great detective? Knowing what to expect before encountering his next mission. Okay, I know that Batman is a fictional character but, we can learn something from him. In the film Batman Begins, Bruce trains with the League of Shadows. Part of the training Bruce had to endure was learning to overcome his biggest fears. In one of the training exercises, Bruce had to learn to anticipate the moves of his opponent. In order to be successful in anticipation, he had to learn what to expect. He had to learn his opponents moves, mannerisms, breathing, weaknesses and even his strengths. In the pursuant of ones dreams, it is not that you have to know everything. Now, doing your homework will go a long way. That’s why businesses or individuals do focus groups and or surveys to learn what to expect when a new product or item is on the verge of being released. That’s why PR consultants try to get in front of a story to help control the narrative. Fear will try to play on your weaknesses; which means you need to be honest with yourself. I know that sometimes when I open my mouth, I can expect things to go awry….maybe I need to shut it more often and rely on…

ACCOUNTABILITY

I was watching Season 2 of Jessica Jones while writing this post and this quote came up: “You are going to need people. No one goes through something like this alone.”  Fear has a weird way of isolating you. Fear wants you to feel isolated to avoid people you are accountable to. I am most guilty of this. Avoiding the reality of my struggles— because I have to eventually address it with those close to me— seems so easy to do. However, I find myself doing my best work when I have those I am accountable to around.  There is nothing like having close friends and family to help you through issues that may arise. Dreaming can be awesome and there is something invigorating when things come together. But, being able bounce ideas or issues to those holding you accountable can help add extra protection. Those you are held accountable to can watch your back and bring strength to your ultimate goal. King Solomon in Ecclesiastes said that If one can overpower who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. You shouldn’t have to face your fears alone.

RESPECT

I recently read a story of a Japanese man who died on his eighth attempt at climbing Mount Everest. The one thing I have come to understand about climbing is literally everything I mentioned above. This man had it all. Even after losing his fingers to frostbite years earlier, he still pressed forward and found his will to pursue Mount Everest again. I believe that having respect is of the utmost importance. Alan Arnette said this about climbing Mount Everest:

“Everest is a worthy mental and physical challenge and it deserves respect. Anyone who says otherwise has either not climbed it, lacks the courage to reveal their own struggles during the climb, or lacks the objectivity to take honest pride in their achievement.”

I could not have said it any better than Alan. Fear is like trying take on Mount Everest. It is not for the faint of heart. It takes a person with the mental fortitude who is willing to push the limits. A person must seek to understand their mountain and offer respect for the  journey they are on. While pursuing your dreams can be exciting, each moment can never be taken for granted. I have seen people become frustrated and flat out give up because the idea of failing was much more comfortable. Alan Arnette said it well: Do you consider your dreams…your mountain…your fear a worthy and mental and physical challenge enough to pursue? If there is no honor and respect in what you are trying to accomplish, you should deeply consider laying it down.

I know there is a lot to take in. Which is why I am going to spend some time to address each point on Facebook and Instagram. If you have any suggestions, points or comments that you feel others would benefit, please make your presence known. I will definitely share on my social media platforms. Let’s get the word out that fear is something to take head on.